Scene from 2008

Nevertheless, just as certain is the fact that entering the American media environment is the communication equivalent of diving into a tub of alligators. A common fear is of speaking in public? Imagine doing it in another language. Spontaneously. Scrutinized, analyzed and tittered about by tens of millions of rabid fans milliseconds after a tough loss. And all of it done under the glare of those tens of millions’ high expectations – which, essentially, every European basketballer in the NBA faces.

(Yes, BallinEurope knows that some readers must do this kinda stuff all the time – particularly those first two bits. But still. It does boggle this expatriate American’s mind, even after 15 years on The Continent.)

So guess what: The Human YouTube Highlight Clip has produced another moment for the virtual archives, showing good game in the intensely difficult off-court field of trash-talking – against no less an opponent than Kobe Bryant, a pretty fair verbal wrangler himself.

While Kobe has peppered swipes regarding a Team USA-Team Spain showdown in the 2012 Olympic Games to his teammate Pau Gasol, he was recently able to conversate with Rubio briefly when the two teams met last Sunday. Things went down as follows.

The transcript (warning: R-rated language included) runs thusly.

Bryant: (to Rubio) Good job, brother. You talking about London?
Gasol: Oh yeah.
Rubio: You’re gonna be there?
Bryant: Fuck yeah, I’m gonna be there.
Rubio: You know you’re getting the silver medal, right?
Bryant: Shiiiiiiit!
Rubio: You know that.
Bryant: I’m taking bets. I’m taking bets.
Rubio: I’ll bet what you want.
Bryant: If I win, I get the keys to Barcelona.
Rubio: I’ll bet what you want.
Bryant: I’ll take it! I’ll take it!

God, BiE loves how the table is being set for The Games already – and as of this writing, opening ceremonies are still 177½ days away … they can’t come soon enough, says BiE.

As part of the TBL all-star festivities, there was of course the all-important dunk contest. In this one, Doğuş Balbay took the top prize for easily clearing Anadolu Efes teammate/2010 dunking champ Sinan Güler for the jam – and then again for good measure. That dude, as they say, ‘s got some hops.

Jonathan Gibson, formerly of New Mexico State University and currently with TBL all-star hosts Trabzonspor won the three-point shootout and later suited up for the foreigners’ team.

And o yes, there were cheerleaders…

First and foremost, BallinEurope feels for Pau Gasol. While the Lakers’ game right now might best (and most charitably) be described as “disorganized,” particularly in the offensive sets where The Triangle is no more, it *feels* like Kobe is subtly, slowing freezing out Gasol.

Though Pau fed Kobe three times in the Indiana game, Gasol got rare touches from Bryant who apparently was instead looking to exploit a size advantage underneath and got three assists to Andrew Bynum. Against the Pacers, Kobe notched two assists to Pau, both within 90 seconds of one another in the third quarter.

But BiE digresses and is probably just paranoid.

Nevertheless.

Let’s talk trade.

A couple of other big-name disgruntled/outgoing players await, ostensibly on the trading block. There’s Dwight Howard, who reportedly will allow a trade to the Dallas Mavericks, New Jersey Nets or Los Angeles Lakers. There’s Deron Williams “enjoying” another excellent season at the peak of his skills while mired with a disappointing New Jersey Nets time and probably considering requesting a trade to Beşiktaş.

In short, why wouldn’t this work?

Okay, so the Lakers aren’t addressing the paucity of the bench and Howard’d probably not appreciate going to a Nets side sans D-Will, believed to be a main motivation for Superman II to move to New Jersey. And Orlando Magic management would lose lots of face for bagging “only” Pau for the dominant Dwight; any theoretical trade involving Howard must factor in the desperation to get something for the departing star – and if in fact said star wants to, you know, leave at all.

Right, so BiE’ll be the bad guy in L.A. Gussy things up just a bit and imagine a draft choice or two also changing hands and you get this; hey, the ESPN Trade Machine likes it. No, BiE isn’t particularly enamored with Matt Barnes; why do you ask?

And can you feel the frustration and fear? Interesting time to be a Lakers fan.

Adele: “What the--?”

Well, in the case of Keith Langford and teammate/keyboardist Richard “Jimi” Hendrix, it’s “two brothers from the South” bringing „something completely different for you in the conversation.” See below the break to enjoy a little musical styling, namely a performance of that ubiquitous song of 2011, Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.”

All together now: “We could have had it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllll…”

As a tweet from Mensah-Bonsu’s former club CSKA Moscow rhetorically asks, “How does he score?”

If you ask BiE, this track may be excellent ambient, but isn’t it far too Tangerine Dreamy for a high-energy mover and shaker such as Rubio? Just like Ricky himself, BiE keeps waiting for “Rubio” to bust out from the restraints of slow tempo to lead a fast break, perhaps infusing some trickery along the way. (Track runs below.)

Rubio demo by Oneohtrix Point Never

Until some enterprising, hoops-digging artist produces a more updated ballad for the Spanish playmaker, then, we’ll just have to stick to Chris Cates’ now-dated “Oh, Ricky Rubio…”

(Tip of the hat to Eurostep for uploading the pic.)

Update: Savas Birdal over at Eurostep reveals that the handiwork was perpetuated by Cibona Zagreb fan or fans, who also left a note at the scene reading ”Kapetane, ne gledaj ovo” (or “Captain, don’t watch this”) in reference to the last season and a half of dismal play from Petrovic’s former club. Cibona Zagreb is 7-6 in Adriatic League play thus far in 2011-12 and did not advance to the Top 16 round of Eurocup play after going 0-6 in the first round.

Asik: Making Divac look like an understudy

Namely, the following. Below the break, check out Kyle Korver and Team Turkey’s Omer Asik making Vlade Divac look like a second-division Nemzeti Bajnokság II player with utterly unconvincing collapses that – to the referees’ credit – were not whistled for offensive fouls.

The Windy City, indeed. Or as France-based BasketUSA put it, “A Chicago, on tombe comme des mouches” (“In Chicago, they’re dropping like flies”).

So, have you heard the one about Lebron James and his wife…?

Now if you’ll excuse BiE, ROFLMAO!

Ran the comment: “BallinEurope, you can update your article with the pic i posted: Žalgiris fans showing this during, after anthem.”

Well, yes. BiE will do that.