Dear CSKA Moscow Studios,

BiE was happy to hear that the exciting new cinematic blockbuster from your studios has now entered the production phase. The choices for leads in the “Men in Red and Blue” (or “MiRB” – nice bit of online-centric marketing consciousness shown there, might BiE say) motion picture are intriguing, indeed. Sonny Weems and Viktor Khryapa definitely have that je ne sais quoi-level of star power; BiE likes the idea of Khryapa as an invincible Schwarzeneggeresque action-flick hero for years to come.

But BiE digresses. With MiRB in pre-production, BiE hereby offers his services as songwriter for the soundtrack. My CV is attached … nah, that’s a lie. There is no CV. Let’s say instead that Os Davis is just some guy with a strong willingness to wrap.

Below run the lyrics to the proposed theme song, “Men in Red and Blue.” Thank you. My people will be waiting to hear from your people.


Os Davis

“Men in Red and Blue”
©, 2012

Here come the Men in Red
(Oooh, in the red and blue)
(Oooh, in the red and blue)
Here come the Men in Red (Red and Blue)
You’re certain to remember

Yeah, yeah, yeah
The good guys dress in red, remember that,
Just in case we ever meet head-to-head and make contact.
We call ourselves the M.I.B.R.
And what we got means we got to go far.
So don’t blink,
Think what was there but now’s gone.
Red uni with the CSKA on.
Play off the glass and never defer,
Guard and protect out on the perimeter.
Gunning for titles in PBL and VTB
Triple-crown season?
Yo, just wait and see.
Bring your best game,
And watch your back.
Cause you never quite know where the M.I.B.R.’s at,
Uh and…

REFRAIN: Here come the Men in Red. (Red and blue)
And Ettore Messina. (Messina!)
Here come the Men in Black. (Men in Black)
Ready your arena (Your arena)

Now from the starting five to the end of the bench,
Your path to the title just met the monkey wrench.
Cameras zoom, only impending doom.
Preparing for the sweep and we’re bringing the broom.
With the quickness making you a witness.
Domination, termination.
We ain’t just a team, yo, we’re the Red Army
This is M.I.B.R.
Make it easy:
Play how we play that’s the way we kick it.
Ya know what I mean,
I let my Teodosic get wicked on ya.
Krstic and Khryapa bring out the defense,
And Sonny Weems’ spark-plugging the offense.
So don’t fear us, cheer us.
If you ever get near us, don’t jeer us.
We’re the fearless.
M.I.B.R. picking up the slack
How’s that gear look?
Red and Blue…

Let me see ya just bounce it with us.
Just bounce with us.
Just bounce it with us. C’mon,
Let me see ya just slide with us.
Just slide with us.
Just slide with us. C’mon.
Let me see ya run the floor with us.
Just run with us.
Run the floor with us. C’mon,
And make your back work.
Now freeze.


All right check it.
Let me tell you ‘bout some more
‘Bout the guys you’ll see on court.

Andrey and Anton’re youth off the bench
(Sorry, no good rhyme for Vorontsevich)
Vladimir Micov can get it going on
And then there’s Mr. All-Arounder, Sasha Kaun

(Let me hear you say, “SA-SHA!”
Let me hear you say, “Kaaaaaauuuuuuuuun!”
Yeh, yeh, yeh…)

So go with your life,
Forget that Roswell crap.
Show love to the black suit.
Cuz that’s the Men in,
That’s the Men in…

REPEAT REFRAIN to fadeout.

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,