Sadly enough for James White, a fourth dunk contest trophy was not added to his mantelpiece after this weekend NBA All-Star game festivities. In fact, after promising Dwyane Wade (and the general populace) a guaranteed win with something completely different…

…White let down those who believed after seeing him win dunk titles in Russia, Turkey and Italy by not getting out of the second round, going back not only on an earlier gauntlet-throwing while also ignoring a few key steps in the patented James White Method for winning these things as publicized by BallinEurope.

With more than a week to go before the 2013 contest, White proclaimed that “Whatever I do is going to be new. It’s not going to be seen in the NBA dunk contest. You’ve seen it maybe on YouTube, but you haven’t seen it on the NBA stage. You’ve seen windmills…”

And then White went and attempted a windmill. BiE will spare you clips of the repeated misses (easily the worst aspect of the dunk contest) and instead merely post the GIF of White’s last attempt as produced by SB Nation. You’ll get the idea.

In analyzing why White failed in his quest for dunk title no. 4, BiE goes back to the man’s own prescription to see just what went wrong…

Step #1. Start the dunking process from the opposite corner of the basket at which you will dunk. Check, White began his approach waaaaaay back. Several times.

Step #2. Dramatically demand that everyone on the court get outta your path to the rim. Check. White didn’t draw quite as much of an immediate crowd as sometimes happens in Europe, but still demanded his proper space.

Step #3. Run all the way to the basket. Check. Of course.

Step #4. Take off from the free-throw line – an imperative step. Check. In the best traditions of Mr. Jordan, check. If you’re not buying your way to the title with expensive production values and/or human props (which Flight shamelessly did in the first round with … parallel lines of shock-still stewardesses; yawn)…

…you’ve gotta exhume the tricks from the last dunk contest of any interest. Heck, White remembered this in the early rounds, too.

Step #5. Throw down a one-handed double-clutch dunk after soaring in the air. And this was where the would-be champ went down. After decrying the windmill, ol’ White went with this exact style – and couldn’t execute once in a half-dozen tries, thereby denying himself the opportunity to best a blah field in…

…Step #6. In dire situations, pass the ball between your legs before dunking. White showed desperation early in the elimination round and did some hand-to-hand on a rock-the-cradle style attempt, but ultimately never got the chance to pull off the move perfected in Turkey.

BallinEurope today wonders to how many more dunk contests ol’ “Flight” White will be invited. If he does return, BiE implores him to review his own simply-laid groundwork before taking to the air. And perhaps he might want to review his own back catalogue of works…

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