• Home
  • FIBA
  • EuroLeague
  • NBA/NCAA
  • National Leagues
  • Podcast
  • Features
  • More
  • Contact

Grimag

  • FIBA
  • EuroLeague
  • NBA/NCAA
  • National Leagues
  • Podcast
  • Features
  • More

“Flight” White forgets own step-by-step winning instructions, disappointingly fails in NBA Dunk Contest guarantee

February 18, 2013

Sadly enough for James White, a fourth dunk contest trophy was not added to his mantelpiece after this weekend NBA All-Star game festivities. In fact, after promising Dwyane Wade (and the general populace) a guaranteed win with something completely different…

…White let down those who believed after seeing him win dunk titles in Russia, Turkey and Italy by not getting out of the second round, going back not only on an earlier gauntlet-throwing while also ignoring a few key steps in the patented James White Method for winning these things as publicized by BallinEurope.

With more than a week to go before the 2013 contest, White proclaimed that “Whatever I do is going to be new. It’s not going to be seen in the NBA dunk contest. You’ve seen it maybe on YouTube, but you haven’t seen it on the NBA stage. You’ve seen windmills…”

And then White went and attempted a windmill. BiE will spare you clips of the repeated misses (easily the worst aspect of the dunk contest) and instead merely post the GIF of White’s last attempt as produced by SB Nation. You’ll get the idea.

In analyzing why White failed in his quest for dunk title no. 4, BiE goes back to the man’s own prescription to see just what went wrong…

Step #1. Start the dunking process from the opposite corner of the basket at which you will dunk. Check, White began his approach waaaaaay back. Several times.

Step #2. Dramatically demand that everyone on the court get outta your path to the rim. Check. White didn’t draw quite as much of an immediate crowd as sometimes happens in Europe, but still demanded his proper space.

Step #3. Run all the way to the basket. Check. Of course.

Step #4. Take off from the free-throw line – an imperative step. Check. In the best traditions of Mr. Jordan, check. If you’re not buying your way to the title with expensive production values and/or human props (which Flight shamelessly did in the first round with … parallel lines of shock-still stewardesses; yawn)…

…you’ve gotta exhume the tricks from the last dunk contest of any interest. Heck, White remembered this in the early rounds, too.

Step #5. Throw down a one-handed double-clutch dunk after soaring in the air. And this was where the would-be champ went down. After decrying the windmill, ol’ White went with this exact style – and couldn’t execute once in a half-dozen tries, thereby denying himself the opportunity to best a blah field in…

…Step #6. In dire situations, pass the ball between your legs before dunking. White showed desperation early in the elimination round and did some hand-to-hand on a rock-the-cradle style attempt, but ultimately never got the chance to pull off the move perfected in Turkey.

BallinEurope today wonders to how many more dunk contests ol’ “Flight” White will be invited. If he does return, BiE implores him to review his own simply-laid groundwork before taking to the air. And perhaps he might want to review his own back catalogue of works…

Feb 18, 2013ballineurope
Powered by Sidelines
Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
This post was published on February 18, 2013
Podcast: Talking Greek basketball fandom, Australian post-apocalyptic sportSharrod Ford and company present the Harlem Shake (Brose Baskets Bamberg On the Bus Remix)
You Might Also Like
 
One thing you didn't know about Marco Belinelli
 
How the last US fortress almost fell
Comments: 1
  1. Xaris Froso
    10 years ago

    man, I was so sad he didn’t win because White is by FAR the best dunker of all of them!
    such a shame…

    ReplyCancel

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

ballineurope
10 years ago 1 Comment More, NBA/NCAAbasketball highlights, funny notes, James White, NBA< NBA 2012-13, New York Knicks, slam dunk contest, YouTube
Recent Posts
Wembanyama’s wild run
1 month ago
Markkanen the highlight of Europe’s stunning NBA All Star haul
1 month ago
Winning is a habit and Bonn’s players like it
1 month ago
Categories
Recent Posts
Wembanyama’s wild run
Markkanen the highlight of Europe’s stunning NBA All Star haul
Winning is a habit and Bonn’s players like it
Tags
EuroLeagueNBAYouTubeCSKA MoscowFC BarcelonaReal MadridFIBAOlympiacosZalgiris KaunasPanathinaikosACBSpainMaccabi Tel AvivTeam SpainRicky RubioLos Angeles LakersMontepaschi SienaPartizan BelgradeLithuaniaPau GasolTeam LithuaniaGermanyItalyTurkeyIrelandTeam FranceCaja Laboral BaskoniaLietuvos RytasFenerbahce ÜlkerJuan Carlos NavarroGreeceSan Antonio SpursTony ParkerFranceMinnesota TimberwolvesDirk Nowitzkibasketball highlightsTeam RussiaSerbiaTeam USAALBA BerlinEuroBasket 2011EuroCupBrose Baskets BambergDallas Mavericks
Share
0
Facebook
ABOUT
BallinEurope.com was founded in September 2007 by Christophe Ney (who now runs the excellent scouting-themed website European Prospects) and Tobias Seitz, both then bloggers for FIBA.com with over 10 years’ worth of experience in the professional basketball world each. The mission then was to “provide a very unique perspective of Basketball in and about Europe.”
Most Commented
Why Andrei Kirilenko and CSKA Moscow must win the Euroleague
11 years ago
180 Comments
Euroleague Transfers Table 2008/2009
14 years ago
168 Comments
A week in highlights: Spanish block party, mighty Milos, Utah rap and some dude dunking in L.A.
12 years ago
139 Comments
Archives
Get In Touch

Email: emmetryan@gmail.com

Name: Emmet Ryan

2014 © BallinEurope. Join JCI Dublin