With Dwight Howard trying out for WWE and it being a holiday weekend in Ireland, there’s no better time for BiE to work out what ballers would work out well in the land of synthetic sports
Dwight Howard spent a full five hours at the WWE Performance Center on Thursday as part of an open tryout. The NBA and Team USA big man seems like an obvious fit in the over the top world of professional wrestling but what other ballers would fit in well in fraudulent combat. I’m largely sticking with guys from Europe or who spent time in Europe and have enjoyed long careers or are retired.
Pero Antic – Tag team in AEW
We start by immediately going away from WWE. Why? Because even the new management can’t be trusted to not mess up a European giant. Pero has the look to terrify anyone, clearly has charisma, and his build is legitimately intimidating. Heck, it’s a long time joke from this site that all of us live purely because Pero wishes it so.
WWE would build him as a monster with no direction and end up not being able to give his arcs or threat the relevance needed. As a result I’m moving him to the competition to team with Claudio Castagnoli, formerly Cesaro, for a bald and bearded super team from Europe. Claudio can take the pins to make Pero look strong and is more than capable of carrying Pero to a great one on one match when they inevitably split.
Aaron Jackson – Potential main eventer/Intercontinental title legend
AJax has allllllll the charisma required to make it to the very top in the world of sports entertainment. The man can cut a promo like nobody’s business and he could move seamlessly from face to heel and, the real money, a tweener role.
His athleticism is obvious and there’s nobody doubting his work ethic. Jackson hasn’t officially retired, and he’s got a ton of fans in Europe that would love to see him back on a court here, but were he to go down the graps route, the sky would be the limit.
Vassilis Spanoulis – Manager to the stars
He’s just stepped into coaching so the switch to manager in wrestling seems a good fit. Stick him in an oversized suit and you know he could be the ultimate out of nowhere interference for the right client. It helps that Spanoulis is still in great shape so he could occasionally spot in for the odd tag team match and you know he could take a bump.
He’s a natural babyface, which is understandable, but in WWE it’s tough to succeed as a manager without being a heel. I think Spanoulis has the chops to do the heel run before eventually adopting an authority figure role that could lean towards a more fair and balanced position.
Patric Young – Colour commentator
Young’s best known for his power but the dude is an extraordinarily erudite speaker, in actual basketball I would love it if he pursues a career as colour commentator, just check out the amount of detail he gives he while not having yet had a chance to recover from a Euroleague semi final.
Tell me that guy couldn’t be the alternative to Pat McAfee on commentary, for when you want a serious voice telling you what went down. It’s a natural fit on his way to forming a lifelong tandem with Doris Burke covering the NBA with each taking turns on lead announcer and colour commentary.
Milos Teodosic – Whatever the heck he wants
That’s not a cop-out the nearest comparison for me with Teodosic is Jon Moxley, formerly Dean Ambrose. Teodosic manages to look like he’s just out of bed yet ready to kill at the same time. He carries himself like an everyman yet also like someone capable of utterly wild stuff with a single stride.
That’s what the lunatic fringe is all about. There’s enough relatability and relaxation there for a middle aged viewer to get while that viewer also finding everything about what Milos does unbelievable.
Boban Marjanovic – Too easy
Come on, he’s obviously going to be the most high flying luchador of all time.